You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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