maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
