Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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