i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My pussy is not your playground.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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