My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
