He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
