Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize