so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
