I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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