yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
