Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
