do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize