i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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