Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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