He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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