with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize