u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
