We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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