We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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