she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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