somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
