he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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