This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
