they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
