in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
