If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
