well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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