I'm lost and stupid without you.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
