I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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