i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
