I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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