you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
