Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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