No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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