Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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