make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize