He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
