ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
