I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
