Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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