Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
