Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
