dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
