I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize