Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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