A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
