He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize