Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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