Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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