Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
