I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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