I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
