i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
