Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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