i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
