How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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