I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
