This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My balls are so social today.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize