I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
