wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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