I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
