Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
