WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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